Mari you're the absolute best not the worst!

Some people won’t like you because of the stories they heard about you. Other people won’t based on mistakes or actions you grew from years ago.  If I were to keep adding reasons why people won’t like you, we could be here a long time. All the things on that list don’t matter. The most important person who likes you is yourself. A friend told me I was hard on myself when we were out recently. I stopped and got a little sad. I always tell people to be kind to themselves. Instead of staying sad, I thought long and hard. I never act like it’s simple to do. I struggle every day with being kind to myself. It’s a struggle I choose because I’m worth being kind to myself. A lot of people have told me I can’t just change. Actually, you can but it takes days of heartbreak, repeat offenses and being graceful with yourself when something like this comes up.

Momma and I enjoying a drink together.

On this specific day, I had Momma with me. I know when I have her, my stress level is up because I worry about anything happening to her. I am concerned people will be unkind to her because she does something unexpected. With her Alzheimer’s she has forgotten some key things and keeps declining. I’m protective of her, I don’t want to explain in front of her that she has Alzheimer’s and dementia. I want to allow her to keep her dignity and give her a safe space to be herself. As taxing as it is sometimes. While being a guard dog I neglect myself while constantly fretting about her. I worry about her getting anxious, upset, not eating or taking her meds. I need to let go of these worries. When I fumble, spill, or ask repeated questions instead of mentioning how I’m the worst, I need to slow down.

Momma posing for another picture. We take a lot of fun ones.

Slowing down isn’t easy for me. It’s again a choice. I choose to keep going, adding on, doing more. Why? If my life is beautiful the way it is and with the humans, I have surrounding me, why do I push myself to be and do more? I want to heal myself and, in turn, help others heal, but to do this, I need to slow down and do the work. Once I think I’m doing better, I tend to try to take on a lot more.  I’m not the only one who does this, I see you. Making moves, working hard, but forgetting to take care of the most important person in your life, you. I’m going to be working on this, and if I find information or practices that help me, I will share them. If you know you are doing the same thing, please reach out. I’d love to have a chat and maybe brainstorm. Thank you and have a fantastic day.